The Wedding Party

I am getting old. I'm pushing 51 and I've been set in so many ways. I feel a certain dignity, however, in my age, that I didn't have as a younger man. I have pride in this unasked for dignity. But this dignity, I'm finding, can also be my captor as I find myself sneering at younger people doing undignified things. Sometimes I forget that I was young and tired of my father. But not today.

There is a video going around on Twitter of the start of a wedding. "In my day" (old words), the organ would play the traditional wedding march, or even a contemporary but beautiful and solemn song as the groomsmen, bridesmaids, best man, and the nervous couple would enter the holy chambers to begin their lifelong trek. When I started watching the video, this is what I expected. But the opening notes of this wedding ceremony had little to do with my idea of what a wedding ceremony should be.

The song opened with the synth sounds of Chris Brown's "Forever" - a dance tune, complete with thumping kicks and vocoderized vocals. I felt myself bristling at first, felt my eyes scrunch up as the groomsmen made their way down the bridal path. But this was no traditional entrance. At first, the groomsmen held pieces of paper resembling notes of some kind, something you might expect. But out of nowhere they threw them into the air, revealing colorful confetti. Lord, and then they started dancing! Badly dancing, like guys forced to dance so they could get laid. My mind is thinking "preposterous," but my feet are tapping, uncooperative. This is a circus. They should not be doing this.

Two bridesmaids start dancing down the aisle, doing badly choreographed dance moves. I notice that they look a little embarrassed, but that they also look *happy*. Dressed in red, they dance their way to the altar. Behind them are more groomsmen, one of which walks on his hands, no less. I notice the audience. No one crying here. They clap as the groomsman finishes his hand walk, and I notice everybody in the audience is smiling and laughing. This is not how I got married.

You can't see it in the video, but all of them are circling back to the start. All the groomsmen and bridesmaids now are dancing down the aisle in unison. And just when you think it can get no sillier, the groom himself - hidden by the dancers - bursts through them and somersaults his way to the front, dancing his way to the altar. What the hell?

I started feeling strange, and something stirred inside of me that I did not expect. Tears streamed from my eyes. What in the hell am I crying for, I thought at first, but then it came to me. These were tears of joy. Not my joy, mind you. Theirs. I understood. Weddings are supposed to be joyful, but most are long and tedious. Not this one. I could say that they were thumbing their nose at old men like me, but that's not how it seemed, exactly. They were not trying to shock or offend. They were enjoying their day, making this a true celebration *their* way, bad dancing and all.

The audience laughed, hooped and hollered, and shared their joy. Tears ran down my face as I opened up and felt the simpleness of what they were doing. I shared their joy - exactly what they had planned and hoped for. This was the wrong reason to be crying at a wedding, especially for an old man like me, but I did not want it to stop. Something inside of me was coming out of hiding, something I had forgotten.

The bride came next, and did some simple dance moves down the aisle to join her groom. It was no longer silly, and in a sense more dignified than anything I've witnessed in a long time. Chris Brown pumping, people clapping and hollering, and people dancing badly down the aisle to their own beat - these were their own people, and even though they looked a bit embarrassed at times, everyone felt the wedding party's joy. The entire audience was uncannily unified by all the craziness, and it indeed was a true celebration.

I watched the bride join her groom, and the video ended. But I, who wasn't there, who didn't know any of these people, felt what they did, and I was no longer an old man. Something inside of me stirred, something I just assumed was dead in me. I wiped my silly tears, thankful that I still had the capacity to feel. And what was supposed to be a long and solemn occasion turned out to be a joyful day, that not only they, but myself will remember for a long time.

I want to thank them for their silliness, and for saying to hell with tradition and doing it their own way. I do not feel so old today, and there is absolutely nothing, not in any way, silly about that.

"Double your pleasure, double your fun..."

-@hoomin

The video can be found here.